Changes: Make them for the Right Reasons


changesIssues – Everybody Has Them

Let’s start with a universal truth – everybody has issues. Some people just may have more issues than others. Personally, I could start a newsstand, maybe even a few newsstands, with the number of issues that I have. Some people are transparent with their issues, while others are better at hiding theirs, stuffing them in the closet behind their skeletons.

The important thing is not to let someone make you feel bad because of your issues. If your issues don’t line up with their expectations of who you should be, that’s their problem, not yours. And if they tell you that you need to change or they’re leaving, then let them go. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. If you’re anything like me, I’m sure you’re quite adept at the negative self-talk (which, I’m trying to reduce). Letting someone else feed the voices isn’t healthy or helpful.


Changes – Make Them for the Right Reasons

Change isn’t a bad thing. Wanting to be less anxious or emotional, to better manage your depression, to practice self-care, to lose weight, or to lose a new skill are all healthy changes. But you need to make sure that you’re making those changes for yourself. Because you want to change, not because someone else is making you feel bad about something, invalidates your problems, makes ultimatums, or draws out promises from you.

Change that you aren’t committed to and aren’t making for yourself isn’t likely to succeed or last. If someone blames your issues for their unhappiness, no amount of effort you put in will ever be good enough. You’ll be changing for all the wrong reasons, and they will continue to be unhappy with themselves.

How to Make Changes

May you have an issue you’d like to fix (or mitigate) or change you’d like to make. Take the time to write all the reasons you want to make this change. Make sure they’re your reasons, Once you’ve done this, brainstorm all the things you can do to help fix or mitigate the issue. Come up with a plan for how you’ll implement it, and then execute.

Keep track of your progress. Identify what things are work and which things are not. If you want feedback or validation, make sure you turn to a supportive community that will encourage you and build you up, not tear you down. A therapist and close friends or family are great places to start, but the internet is full of communities you can turn to, especially if you want some anonymity. Facebook is full of groups that you can join. Once you feel that you’ve made sufficient progress towards your goal, take stock of what worked and what didn’t work, and then when you feel ready, move on to your next goal.

What are your thoughts on making changes? Is there anything you’d like to change about yourself?

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6 thoughts on “Changes: Make them for the Right Reasons

  1. I think changes can be a good thing to a certain extent. Sometimes i don’t it is us that needs to change but others on how they treat us because we do have issues or are different.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I think many people forget that not everybody sees the world the same way that they do, and that expecting somebody else to change because they don’t behave the way you think that they should is only going to make both people unhappy.

  2. I think you’re right – you need to make the changes for the right reasons. Change for the sake of change is irrelevant, there always have to be an end goal in mind. You need to change to become someone you wish to become.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I truly believe that if you’re not making changes for the right reasons, and you’re not making them for yourself, your chances of making lasting changes are low.

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